


Soul

by arthureames



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 14:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3772222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthureames/pseuds/arthureames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you in Heaven? Or in Valhalla?” Ragnar asks.<br/>“Neither.” Athelstan replies. “I am with you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Душа](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4596672) by [faith_fatal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faith_fatal/pseuds/faith_fatal)



No one understands it.

Lagertha tries, but her devotion to the gods goes too deep to ignore. Floki doesn’t even bother trying. He flat out tells Ragnar he ruined everything. _We are all going to die, the gods will release their wrath upon us, and it is going to be your fault, Ragnar._

Rollo doesn’t talk about it. He had also been baptized, but the circumstances were different, and he knows it. He knows Ragnar means it. He knows Ragnar _wanted_ it.

The only one who, as much as it is possible, understands him, is his son. Bjorn. The son who would go on to be even more famous than the father.

“Are you renouncing our gods, father?” He asks, while Ragnar lays down, dying.

Is he?

Ragnar doesn’t care. Ragnar doesn’t even think about it. All Ragnar wants is to see Athelstan again.

“Who am I to say the Christian God doesn’t exist? Athelstan saw him. He said he spoke to him.”

“Athelstan.” Bjorn says, nodding his head, knowingly.

Then he puts a hand on his father’s face, kisses his forehead, and leaves.

* * *

 

It hurts everywhere. It hurts to breathe, and that’s the only thing Ragnar can still do. He tries getting up once, twice, but it just hurts too much and he gives up. He’s shaking all over and his vision is starting to get blurry.

It was a boring death. Ragnar had always dreamed about dying in battle, with an axe on his hand and his enemies’ blood on his face. He would go to Valhalla then, and be met by all the friends he lost, by his ancestors, by Gyda.

That was before, though.

Gyda would understand.

Gyda loved Athelstan, too. Not as much as Ragnar loved –loves– him, but enough to understand.

Ragnar reaches for Athelstan’s cross. It hurts to do that, too, but he needs to hold it. He needs to look at it, and hold it, and feel a little bit less alone.

* * *

 

“Ragnar.”

Ragnar’s heart nearly bursts inside his chest. There’s no pain anymore, but he still can’t get up. He blinks one, two, three times, trying to find him. There’s no one.

“Ragnar.”

He can’t move. He’d run a thousand miles to find him, to see him, to hold him. But he doesn’t have to. He’s right in front of him.

“Athelstan.” His voice comes out ragged, broken, not louder than a whisper.

“Oh, Ragnar.” Athelstan kneels down in front of him, puts a hand on his face, caresses him gently. And he can _feel_ it. It’s almost enough to make him cry. “Ragnar, you have to get up.”

Ragnar tries so hard to touch him, but he can’t move, and he’s starting to get desperate. “I can’t.”

“Yes. Yes, you can. You have to. This is not your time to go. Not yet.” Athelstan’s hand feels warm against his face, and his eyes are so kind and blue and _real_.

“Athelstan, please. Take me with you.”

Athelstan smiles. “I don’t have to take you anywhere, Ragnar. I am your John, remember? You will follow me, when it’s time. But now you have to get up.”

Ragnar can’t understand. “How?”

“Ragnar, you are sick.  You are making yourself sicker because you do not want to live. You have to be strong. We’ll be together soon enough, but there are things you have to do first. For me.”

“I will try.” Ragnar says. “For you.”

“Good.” Athelstan smiles.

“I miss you.” His throat burns.

“I know.” Athelstan says, and takes his hand from his side. “I miss you too.”

“Are you in Heaven? Or in Valhalla?” Ragnar asks.

“Neither.” Athelstan replies. “I am with you.”

And just like that, Ragnar wakes up and Athelstan is gone.

* * *

 

It doesn’t take very long for them to be reunited. And when they are, Ragnar finally realizes that the reason why he let the priest live, all those years ago, was beyond him. Even before Ragnar understood what a soul was, his was already promised to another one’s, and not even the gods could change that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okayyyy so I'm honestly so intrigued as to what is happening in the season finale. Ragnar looks as good as dead BUT we already saw the snake pit back in season one, so I think he's going to survive, somehow? I honestly have no idea how, so I kind of left it pretty vague in this, because I don't wanna risk sounding ridiculous. What I do know is that grief can do crazy things. Maybe his injuries are not so bad, but he is so psychologically broken his body is being affected by it? Or maybe he actually has the plague the people of Paris are coming down with, and not internal injuries, and everything is going to be fine? Lmao I honestly have no idea. The only thing I do know is that Ragnar loves Athelstan and they are soulmates and it hurts. Kudos/Reviews pleaseeee?


End file.
